A Jurassic Park 4 Dare

A sequel I have been craving for since 2002 is about to get shown in more than 1 year.  My long waiting is coming to an end and my patience is finally going to be rewarded.  Jurassic World here I come.  I’ll book a ticket to the grand opening.  In my excitement I have contemplated making my dinosaur wishes known to whoever may step upon my controversial blog of ranting, raving and twisted joking.  What dinosaurs I want in Jurassic World.  Not necessarily what I think the dinosaur will be but what I want it to be.  This post however is being more of a “proposal” for Universal to consider in the sequels that follow the new film.  More like a dare.  Hey Colin Trevorrow I DARE YOU to make the script that William Monahan and John Sayles wrote up.  You know the one I mean! Jurassic Park IV Dino-Cops!

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I have read the script 4 times and still can’t get my head around it.  Being an auditory learner I would rather understand through listening rather than reading.  When I read the Jurassic Park novel I struggled to picture everything in my head.  It wasn’t until concept art leaked that I properly understood just how insane this sequel really is.  Dinosaur commandos? What kind of idea is that? When I read the rumors back in 2004 my interpretation is that the raptors were going to have cannons attached to their backs.  You could ride around on them perhaps.  That was my understanding of it.  Then when I read this review by “Moriarty” I realized it was worse than I originally imagined.  The dinosaurs actually do CARRY AROUND the guns like your everyday soldier.

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“I can ride sharks see”

At this time I realize now that Spielberg must have been having some effective smokes.  Not only did he pitch this as the mother of all ideas, he said he wished he did this for Jurassic Park 3.  ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I hated the portrayal of Spinosaurus in that film and the fact you listened to Jack Horner of all people, but to say that idea is better than what made it on the screen is truly outrageous.  I still couldn’t fully understand where they were going with this.  Even with the review I still couldn’t picture what was happening.  Then years later I finally got my hands on a copy of it.  I still couldn’t picture it properly but let me tell you, that review is being far too kind.

Drew was kind enough to point out that he gave up understanding it by the Alps, but the whole idea derails as a Jurassic Park sequel LONG BEFORE that.  Firstly, it ignores that the embryos were only kept fresh for 36 hours.  Grendel (a new corporation in the film) wouldn’t be able to do anything with them even if they did get them.  Secondly, the Kronosaurus in the water wasn’t even on Isla Nublar so even if we count the fact it wasn’t on InGen’s list how did it get there? Migrate from Isla Sorna? If so why aren’t there any terrorizing the local beaches? How do you expect me to acknowledge this as Jurassic Park when you are ignoring the facts the original put in place?  If you are going to make this a Jurassic Park sequel at least have the courtesy to remember what was said in the original.  I’m fine with marine reptiles (actually I really want them in it) but there weren’t any on the original.  After Nick Harris (the main hero of the film) is captured by Grendel and taken to the Alps, the only thing that even acknowledges Jurassic Park AT ALL is the fact the female scientist still has her ticket to opening day.

Since I am bad at picturing what is described I couldn’t understand the dinosaurs with guns approach.  Like I said earlier, it wasn’t until the concept art was leaked to show they are commandos that I suddenly realized “WTF Dino Cops? This was Jurassic Park 4? LOLZ!” Below are pictures of the commandos (not all raptors but still) to give you an idea of where they were going with this.

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This looks like the Future Predator from Primeval.

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My take on all this is, even as a completely original film the idea is too crazy to take seriously.  As a Jurassic Park sequel? It would definitely have people talking about it, of that I am certain.  So why am I daring them to do it when it would just make me sick if it became a reality? The idea is so completely bonkers that it would be worth seeing as a Jurassic Park sequel and not an attempt at a Turok film.  What a way to butcher the franchise.  Yes worse sequels have been proposed before but humanoid dinosaurs exchanging war stories in a film about tampering with nature is such a disgrace and disregard for one of the best dinosaur stories written it has to be seen to truly judge how mad it is.  I am all for the latest Jurassic Park anyway so why not?

Now the much later rumors about a park with tamed dinosaurs is sounding more like the Jurassic Park I know.  The producers and director deny it’s truth but time will tell.  I wouldn’t really care as long as good dinosaurs are in.  That is why I think this original idea for Jurassic Park 4 is most flawed of all.  Dinosaur fans obviously only care to see one thing.  We want them portrayed in a ferocious yet realistic manner but we just want to see dinosaurs.  Back onto the old JP4 script, past the Kronosaurus there is one scene at the very end involving Pterosaurs and that is it in regards to the prehistoric creatures.  None of the fan favorites appear.  Just correct the mistakes made in Jurassic Park III and portray T-Rex in his/her old ways.  The way we picture the king of the dinosaurs.  Have something worthy of being in his presence and not a fish eater.  I want my personal favorite dinosaur Giganotosaurus in it.  I think the more likely candidate for the new dinosaur in Jurassic World is going to be Gigantoraptor.  It is a more recent discovery.  I know it can’t be Siats or Torvosaurus since they were discovered after the script was written.

Dodgson, Dodgson, we have Dodgson here!

The route they have decided on is not the route I would have taken with Jurassic Park 4.  I would do something more akin to Michael Crichton’s vision of the sequel and have Dodgson go on Isla Sorna to steal eggs.  Dodgson is the best candidate for a villain in this series afterall.  Sure its the same thing but why not? And my idea can’t possibly be as crazy as what they were going for 12 years ago.  All things said and done though, I DARE THEM TO DO IT! Even as a completely new movie it would be a disaster.  As a Jurassic Park sequel it would be unforgettable.  I have no doubt in my mind that Jurassic World will absolutely trump that abomination of a sequel.  Would you line up to Jurassic Park 5 and 6 if they used this idea in the future? Or would it be so far out that you refuse to acknowledge it’s existence? Think about it.  Dinosaur humanoid commandos stopping drug dealers.  The fact it made it so far that they did some concepts and 3D models is scarier than the fact they actually considered this.

The real sequel to Jurassic Park 3 is called Jurassic World and will be in cinemas 12th June 2015.  Make sure you tell all your friends and family that it is a new Jurassic Park film to avoid branding confusion.

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